Genesis 3:16: A Prophecy of a Fallen World
Is Genesis 3:16 a command that women must obey their husbands?
Before the fall was perfect love- complete unity with God in thoughts, words and deeds. When Adam and Eve ate from the tree, they turned away from unity with God to unity with each other and with the serpent, and excluded God from that relationship. Adam then blames the woman, additionally breaking the unity the couple had with each other. That choice to draw away from God and exercise their free will to have the knowledge of evil (unlovingness, outside of unity with God) was the first sin.
Man and woman were created to represent God’s image in creation together, but they destroyed that image. A husband and wife were no longer the image of the unity of God. We are still each individually made in God’s image, but the image of unity in relationship was broken.
Genesis 3:16 tells us what will happen now that sin, or disunity with God, has entered the world.
We’re no longer in unity with the earth from which we were made, so laboring for food will be difficult.
We’re no longer in unity with our own bodies, so laboring to give birth will be difficult.
Husbands and wives are no longer in unity with each other, so the relationship will be broken. She still desires her husband, but he instead will rule over her.
Notice that this is descriptive language, not prescriptive language.
This is a prophecy, not a command or a goal for which to strive. It’s the consequence or result of living in a fallen, sinful world. This verse is in much the same vein as Deut 28. If you disobey and do these things, this is what will happen, as a natural result of living outside of unity with God. This is not what should happen. What should happen is that you live according to God’s laws, are in unity with him, and are blessed.
The result of sin is rule of husbands- dominion, reigning like a king. The result has been abuse- physical, emotional, sexual, financial- all through history. This is not a goal, but a consequence.
However, it’s not an unavoidable consequence. We still have free will and can still come back into unity with God. While we will always experience the consequences of the fall on this earth to some degree, the closer we live in alignment with the way God originally created us, the less these consequences affect us.
If you use your gifts to do work that is Kingdom minded, and your work is less toil and more fulfilling.
When women allow labor to take its natural course and are unhindered and uninhibited, when they move away from male dominated hospital practices and back to woman-centered birthing, then labor is less work, less painful and more of a joy.
When husbands and wives seek spiritual and emotional intimacy and unity, with each other and with God, they get a taste of the pre-fall garden relationship. The more they lean into that, the more they heal the brokenness in themselves and in the world.
Genesis 3:16 also says the woman will desire her husband. You can find a dozen different interpretations for this one sentence and some are based on pure conjecture, but I’m going to focus on two:
The ancient rabbis said it means that she will either sexually desire her husband or that she will desire to be ruled over.
If it means sexual desire, then let’s consider what precipitates good, connected sex between a husband and a wife. When does a woman desire sex? Does she sexually desire him when he’s demanding, unkind or neglectful? No. Women are far more likely to sexually desire their husbands when the couple is spiritually and emotionally connected and when she feels respected, safe and loved. If this interpretation by the rabbis is correct, I believe they were grasping the conclusion but not mentioning the path to get there. She desires spiritual and emotional intimacy that leads to sexual desire.
If this means that she will desire to be ruled over, then let’s notice how women are often the ones to promote the rule of men over women in our congregations. Men could not have dominated women for all of these thousands of years without women’s acquiescence and promotion of the supporting theology. Mothers teach their daughters and older women teach younger women that men’s rule is good.
I believe both of these interpretations by the ancient rabbis are true.
If you’re still not sure about Genesis 3:16 being a descriptive prophecy not a prescriptive command, let’s read it again and notice what’s NOT there.
The sentence is not stated as a command for the woman to obey her husband. Obedience, submission or following his leading is never mentioned, nor is any consequence if she does not.
There is no instruction for the husband to rule how to rule, when to exert his authority or when to refrain. He’s given no guidelines nor any approved recourse if she disobeys. God isn’t even directing the statement to him, but to her, so how could it be a command to him?
This is not a prescriptive passage. It simply describes or prophecies what life in the fallen, sinful world will be like. Broken relationships and disunity resulting in the desire to rule and be ruled over.
We don't have to live like that! Instead, let's work together as husbands and wives, men and women, to reclaim the relationship Adam and Eve had in the garden. One of absolutely unity with each other and with God.
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