Ephesians 5, inaction until unity, and how patriarchy hurts men

Interview with Crystal Lutton

Crystal Lutton is a former pastor and currently in the ministry of loving on everyone around her. She is a long time friend who I have learned from so much! I’m super excited to have her as my first podcast interviewee.

You can find Crystal at Arms of Love Family Fellowship and listen to her podcasts on Podbean.

Here’s a taste of what we talked about!

Most people in an abusive relationship, don’t know they are in a an abusive relationship, so when books or resources give a disclaimer saying they aren’t for abusive relationships, the average person doesn’t realize that means them!

Ephesians 5:

Is marriage the one exception to believers submitting to one another?

What does head mean?

Hebrew patriarchy isn’t the same as Christian patriarchy.

Wives- What is going to be best for the whole family? What is going to bless my husband?

Husbands- be a source of love and life for your wife.

Spiritual armor- when you have that shared agenda, you can put on that spiritual armor and fight together in the spiritual realm.

When you tell a man he’s in charge and is soley responsible for what happens, he doesn’t have his wife at his back. He’s exposed to dangers that take him down.

 Laying down your life is setting aside your personal agendas, and laying down selfish desires.  Not personal desires.  But the desires that would cause each person to pursue their own way instead of their joint way.  

We talked for nearly an hour before even touching on decision making in marriage- why? The passage isn’t about decision making. But I do ask Crystal to share the decision making process she and her husband use- Inaction Until Unity.

Does a good marriage mean you’re happy all the time?

Not getting divorced isn’t something to brag about if you’re just waiting for the other person to die.

If you don’t want to go deeper with your partner ask why?

When a man of a gentler nature is told he has to be an alpha male, we’re not honoring who God made him to be.

How does else patriarchy hurt men? They are discouraged from getting professional help to learn how to be vulnerable and intimate.

We’re not criticizing all men. It’s the structures and the systems in place that are hurting both men and woman.

Challenging each other to be your best selves.

What if we all read the Bible as “what does it tell ME to do?” 

When husbands can express “you hurt me and here’s why,” wives can hear that so much better than “you weren’t submissive enough.”

Mutual submission is not about women dominating. It’s about everyone being called to submit and in your marriage, doubly so!